Life is an amazing journey

We never know what we will be called upon to experience and endure. All of you know how much I love each of my children. If anyone was to ask me about any one of them I could give you a list a mile long about their strengths and gifts. When each of them were born, I thanked my Heavenly Father for the gift of their life. When they were little I could hold them and love them anytime I wanted to. I guess you could say I had a false sense of security about how I could protect them. Somehow I would always know what to do and how to do it. Of course I would always love them and they would always love me no matter what.

I was going to be the best mom ever. I was never going to make mistakes. Its interesting how life teaches us that we are not always in control. Our children are given to us for a short time. It's wise to use that time wisely. Did I do everything well? No, I did not. Have I made mistakes? Yes, many of them. I am sorry for that. I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time. We all come to parenthood with the same resume. No experience. Each child is different, they have their own personality and responses. They each get their own life situations that begin to shape who they are and who and what they become.

We knew that before we came to this earth, that we would have choices to make. We knew that we would make mistakes. We would be dealing with all kinds of opposition, pain, sorrow, guilt, sin, health issues and you name it. We were still excited to come and experience this life and prove to our Heavenly Father that we were worthy to be in his presence after this life. No matter how often I weed my garden, the next day I can find more weeds. Do I hate my garden? No, I want to tend it lovingly and remove the weeds so that the flowers can live in a healthy enviroment . We need to do this in our lives as well. Recognize that we are not perfect and remove the imperfections ( if possible)so that our spirits can dwell in a healthy body. Some imperfections require additional assistance. Such as medicine or sometimes counceling. First we have to recognize that there is a problem. We cannot fix someone else. We can only work on our own selves.

I still remember when I learned about the power of forgivness. We had just moved here from Texas. I felt that a certian person was at fault for some pretty tramatic situations that we found ourselves in. I had no control over it . First of all we left in the middle of the night and came here leaving a home that we had purchased. We had no job and still had 5 children and a dog living with us. Without going into detail about what happened to cause this I will tell you what happened to me. I spent my time reading the scriptures and listening to good music. I surrounded myself with positive things because I felt like I was about to be consumed. I was filled with righteous anger. I felt I was justified in feeling this anger. I still remember praying about it to Heavenly Father saying things like. Please take care of this other person that has caused our family such distress. I didn't think I had to do anything else. A very loving Heavenly Father taught me different. I had a dream. I still can recall it like it was yesterday. Heavenly Father was standing next to me. The person that had offended me was also with us. I had my arms folded in front like OK Heavenly Father will tell him and punish him and I will be on the front row watching and finally justice will prevail. I was anxiously awaiting the feeling of justification that was to come to me by watching him being punished by Heavenly Father. Suddenly I looked into the face of that person who was crumpled and crying. He was in such misery I was suddenly ashamed of myself for wanting to see something like that. From that moment on I was a different person. I could forgive him for what he had done. I apologized to him for wanting to see him in such misery (in my dream) .

I learned that day the power of forgivness. I know that we will be forgiven for our short comings if we are willing to forgive others theirs. A sweet peace came over me and I began to live without the canker of hate and anger that eats away at the soul. Satan is very powerful and he knows our weakness also. We get to choose whom we will serve. I promise peace comes when we apply the principles taught in the Miracle of Forgiveness and by living the Gospel.

After seeing Michelles blog about wanting justice, it reminded me of my experience. I wish I could help her to know what I know. I wish I could go back and have a do over. I wish Michelle knew how much everyone in this family loves her and misses her and Chris and the kids. I wish I could tell her that it is her that left the family. We did not leave her. I wish she knew that I don't sit around and talk bad about her. I keep hoping a miracle will happen and she will learn to forgive.

What would justice look like to her? I don't know for sure. I can only guess that she wants me destroyed. At least it feels like it. It has been a very long journey since that awful day. I don't love Michelle less, I want to see my grandchildren every single day. No one can take their place in my heart. 2 years is a long time in a childs life. What will they remember about me and grandpa? Will they know how much we love them? Whatever happened that awful day has long since been paid for. The loss of 3 grandchildren is great. Nothing will ever bring that time back. What a waste of precious precious time lost forever. Can we go on? I believe we can over come anything if we want to. I don't believe hashing up old dirt will help anyone. I do believe we can make things better if we want to. The Savior died for both of us Michelle. When you get tired of carrying the burden yourself, ask Heavenly Father for assistance. You will feel peace again in your life. You will once again feel the love and support of your entire family. We are here waiting with open arms.

Rick and I had an amazing week this week. We were host to 2 thirteen year old girls from Uganda. It filled a hole in my life being an empty nester and it served some children that had nothing. They were so polite and repectful. My responsibility was to feed them breakfast pack a lunch for them to eat during the day and then pick them up at 5:00 p.m. and then feed them dinner. They were to go to bed at 9:00 to be ready for the next day. They performed at a Methodist church on Friday and then went to Park City to have another family host them.
I loved it! They called me Mum. They helped me to know what they could eat for lunch and breakfast. I was going to fix pancakes and Shanice. one of my girls said no thanks, can we have rice? We ended up having scrambled eggs and juice with toast. I want to share some of the pictures we took while they were here. My other girls name was Josephine. I told them when they left to remember where their room is.

Friday I had 5 girls and we had a movie marathon night. We watched 27 dresses and Freaky Friday. I went to bed at 3:30 a.m. I think they finally went to bed at 4:30 a.m. Rick was a good sport and asked them if they wanted to go to bed. One said no, "This is a slumber party" . They loved pizza and it was fun to watch the movies with them and watch their faces. These were children who were starving before they came here and had no parents. What a great pleasure it was to serve them. They said thank you all the time. I loved every minute.
They are so cute!! Welcome to the family Shanice and Josephine. We love you. Thanks for the visit.

Well, maybe I've talked so much it won't let me post the pictures. I'll post this and then try again Sorry

You Are Belle!

Intelligent and kind. Your beauty goes much further than your apperance. Also, you make judgements of people based on their personality and not their looks. Attaining all the knowledge that you can is one of your major goals in life, but you are also a person who can make things happen.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Gazebo Part 2

AND this is just the foundation!

AW Pat! She hung right in the WHOLE WAY!

Me and Pat digging away.

seee what I mean! Holy Cow! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!

Grandpa Roush taking a little break.

Shaela and the kids. It was pretty hot out. I was pretty impressed how hard Trey worked. He kept right up with Bill and Shawn. Never did he complain.

Just taking a little break! Thanks Shawn! We couldn't have done it without you!

This is a face everyone can love. Kyson was a great supervisor!

I love this picture of Megan and Katelyn. Its amazing how far we have come in two weeks! Bill was making sure it was level.

The perfect place to watch what was going on. I didn't have string for the posts so we used bright pink curly ribbon. It worked

Grandpa Roush even got into the middle. Not bad for a 80 year old. Thanks Dad

Hurray! FINISHED!

Hi !

I've been working on this blog for two days and I lost the first one somehow. Finally some pictures. YOu can see where 9 tons of rock went. What a difference a week or two make. Thanks to Bill especially Bill. The gazebo would still be scattered throughout the yard for ever more. When they delivered the rock, I knew it would be more than we needed. But hey, we used it all. Rick and I are very grateful for Bill and his knowledge. He knew it would be alot of work, but, he never complained. I think he is still recouperating today. Thanks Patti Shaela Trey Taylor Kambree Kyson Megan Carson Conner Katelyn & Kelly (who came all the way from Arizona) He spent some of his precious time helping us. We would really be up a creek with out all of you > THANK YOU SO MUCH! I don't think any of us want to rake any more rocks for a very long time.

Your Memories of Me

So I saw this on so many blogs and thought I'd play along. If you aren't playing yet, this one is fun.

So here's the deal...
1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses.If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you (and if this isn't on there...I'll assume you're a procrastinator like me and will check back later!)

Wanna Play?

GAZEBOS , ANOTHER BRIGHT IDEA

A Gazebo, what a great idea. Yeah that would be me and one of my bright ideas. They promised it would be easy. well, so far we are still digging the foundation. Thanks to Bill who came over to tell us in english what we needed to do. I call the amish gazebo place and ask What do I need to do. He said get crushed rock. I said what is crushed rock. Well, I'm sure he's going WHAT EVER LADY. I thought it was a good question. I know about gravel but crushed rock? He said its more jagged. ok, so I ordered crushed rock. 9TONS OF CRUSHED ROCK. GREAT ! Now how do we get it to the back yard. He said thats your problem as he dumped it in the front of the house. Amish gazebos drove all the way from Pennsilvania with no problem. The crushed rock guy got lost. I'm out on the corner of Winchester waving at all the white dump trucks. Anyway, Amish Gazebos they feel very confident that we can do this. OK! RIck may have me bound and gagged for a very long time. He's thinking yeah , we should have done the kitchen. (Well, thats coming up next ). Don't tell Rick, I want to surprise him. Come on over if you dare, I'll cook dinner for anyone brave enough and carries a screwdriver. Stay tuned for part 2

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY AND GOD BLESS THE USA

I hope everyone had a great 4th of July weekend. We did, it was kinda quiet around here. Nikki has moved in with Crystal while Justin is in Europe for the summer. The apartment is close to the University, so she doesn't have to wake up quite so early. The apartment has no airconditioning,(I can't imagine living without airconditioning) but they are enjoying living in their own place. I They came over on the 4th so we went to the movies together to see Get Smart. It was pretty good. It was fun just being with them. We had lunch and played games after. Our family seems to be getting smaller and smaller. Grandma and Grandpa Hand came later and brought pizza. Instead of barbequing. It was so easy ! Mom and Wendall haven't seen Dan in Real Life movie, so we watched it together. All in all it was a nice weekend. It felt like we had two Saturdays. One to play and one to work. I wish we had that every week . We are still working on the pathway to the pond. Rick has really worked hard. I can visulize what its going to look like and I'm excited to get to the sand and rock part. Kind like putting a puzzle together.

I've been thinking alot about how grateful I am for this country and for the founding Fathers who worked so hard in our behalf, so we could live like we do. I am worried about our future. We have become a people that don't vote. I heard that Utah was the lowest in turnout for the primary elections last week. 10% WOW that is really bad. Especially when we are losing our freedoms everyday. We had better wake up soon, or, we may find ourselves with a President who controls everything from what we eat to what and when we drive, to how much money we make and where we live. I can't believe what is happening. Who would have thought that we may be talking about the good old days when we could choose what we did for a living and could speak up when we disagreed. Anyway, I sure love you all.

Family Ties

Hi, I thought I would update everyone on the happinings at the Crowther household. We have been busy since we last talked. Justin turned 27 on May 30th. He leaves in 2 days for Germany to go to school for 7 weeks. Wow, can you believe it ? He will be so far away. I hope he has a great experience. Heather had a birthday also. 24. Where does the time go. We get to see Chad and Heather alot and get to play with Riley and Tyler who are so much fun. They make me smile just to see their faces.
Rick and I went to Florida the beginning of June. Rick had a conference he needed to be to which happened to be around my birthday. I won't tell you how old I am, but, its getting up there. We went from Florida to Tennesse and spent the weekend with Diane and Bob in their beautiful home. We went to see Iron Man. It was pretty good. The best thing was being with Diane and Bob even though he had a busy schedule and was gone alot. We still had a great time. We barbequed on Sunday Bob did the cooking which was fabulous. He is a really good cook. We came home on Monday and it was hard to leave Diane and Bob in Tennesse, but, they live so close to Opra and Dolly I guess they will be ok.
Oh I can't forget to say the Nikkole graduated from High School in May also. She is working at the University and is about to move in with Crystal. All of a sudden Rick and I are emty nesters. We thought that was so far away. We have enjoyed having Nikki around. She has kept us young. I'm glad Chad doesnt live too far away to bring us Tyler and Riley. Things are going to be kinda quiet. Yippee oh I mean it will be ok too.
We celebrated Fathers Day last week and it was fun. We barbequed in the back. Rick and I have been working so hard on the yard. Even though it was hot, we suffered! by dang we are going to use our back yard shade or not. Happy Fathers day to all.
I am looking forward to seeing all of you, my favorite family, during the hot days of summer. I want to enjoy every minute with you.